A lot of times I seem to try and be a super hero. Mostly because I don't stop when I start on a project; I keep going until I have finsished. This past summer has been mostly spent either with Michelle, taking my dad places because he couldn't drive (he was really sick check back for blog on that), or working on life teen stuff. When I say most of it spent on LT stuff I mean for the past 3 weeks, I have done 55 wmv files for praise and worship. I had the question asked why would this be important, can't you just click slides and yes you can. But our tech people aka Mike Boyea and I, like these better or at least I do. They are convenant. Any one can have the flash drive they are all on and click play and they are all ready to go. They worked great for the retreat this past spring. I thought "well I could tottally do these and we can have all Catholic artists singing the p&w, for the most part it is. But I also have an inate ablity to do ministry, as a teen I was very good at it and most of it dealt with the tools I used. I had 3 things, a bible, a guitar, and a open ear to listen. Though we had other teens beside me it some times seemed like new teens looked at me as some one that would listen. My last spring retreat I spent an extra hour when the guys couldn't sleep talking using my guitar being very real with other people about my faith and my faith walk. I have so far seemed to do a good job of this as a CORE member. At the same time I got used to this persona as the go to teen, when a Core needed some thing I was the go to guy. Instead of a guy named Bobby I was Bobby "super teen core", when I was burnt out it was a role or persona.
Some times when we would go off site for a retreat when it came time for the start of the retreat and we would get there at 3 right after a long day of school to setup. I would be drained, in the spring we gave so much as "teen core" that we were burnt and we spent the last 5 mins. either trying to be excited or faking it. They would say "OK, remember what we talked about be excited and engergetic!" But ussally more people spent more time going though the motions, this isn't just a Catholic thing this is a People thing. Every one puts on a face in some situation if it is at a family party or even a day of school. We walk in with a face, a persona.
How do we change this and that is though prayer, when you pray, pray for a change in your sprirte and heart to be who God wants you to be, shake yourself and live as he intended. You have to not only trust yourself but trust God, that he will give you that person and it will be enough. the prayer of St. Teresa of Avila:
Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.
God alone suffices in everything, he is enough he will give you enough, he is the giver of life!
Bobby
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