Lord, I need you

There have been many times in my life that I have been blessed with "stuff", some times that "stuff" gets taken for granted and taken away. I could list the most intimate times in my life when that has happened, but I will mostly spare you the details. When I was growing up I played football all through middle school and High School. The first year I played varsity we went 8-2, missed the play offs but had a great season. You would think we are going to play just as good, the next year we went 3-7. That is when I learned a key lesson in life, you learn more from a loss than a win. It is a sobering thing going into a game and getting it handed to you. Is it a good thing, no I would rather win than lose but some times God has different plans. In scripture it says "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."-1 Corinthians 10:13 it also says in Mathew that "With God all things are possible"- Mathew 19:26

God won't put you through some thing that is unsurmountable, so even when you are losing your really winning because you are growing stronger in your faith, and even if you don't notice closer to God. The times that I have been struggling the most, when I come out of it I am closer to God and stronger in my faith. When my parents were getting divorced I was 19 years old. My parents had a tumultuous marriage. I can remember them fighting more often then not. They weren't meant for each other and basically stayed together for the kids. By the time I was old enough (I was the youngest) I could tell it was coming and it was only a matter of time. I would stay up at night waiting for my mom to get home, because she would spend time at her friends house and not home. I would wonder, Why doesn't she want to be at home?, am I not good enough for her. She spent more time around people I knew from school or church that were my age, then I would. My family was falling a part. I remember a lot of people knew this and it made it awkward when they would bring it up. I would just freeze and not say anything to them really. It was weird at my house too, my dad was anger because my mom wasn't moving her stuff out quick enough in his opinion. My mom still just spent more time at her friends. My dad was just done, he had put years trying to figure out how to make this work. He spent more time just numbing himself at this It was really a sad time. I was gaining and losing faith all at the same time. I was trying to get closer to God, but at the same time I wondered why God would put me through this. I didn't think God put divorce in my life to get me to Grow closer to him but I was determined to find his plan. God gives us free will we make our own decisions. So my parents made theirs, and I had to live with it. I found it hard to adjust to things, I never really thought it would of been that hard. I struggled with the fact that things weren't going my way. But I was positive that I could get through it with God's help.  That year at the Steubanville Youth Conference I remember talking to one of the CORE members and they asked "What are you hoping to get out of your last Conference?" I said very bluntly "Answers, I want answers there have been way too many things going wrong.  I am struggling with the fact that things are changing, ending, and my family had just fell a part. I  don't do good with not knowing what the plan is." That Core member said "Just offer it up, and ask your questions, only he can provide the answers."  I offered it up at all times, during adoration, praise & worship. There was a song that I really loved it is called "Mighty to Save". The refrain of the song goes:

"Saviour he can move the mountains

My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave" 

I remember the first time I heard it I was amazed, it said things I never heard before. God can move mountains, and I felt like he wanted me that he is mighty to save.  The bridge was one of my favorite part of the song:

Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen king Jesus

Losing is something we all will have to deal with at some point. You will lose something...even if it is just your life because some day you will die. But the trick is to know that loss is on way to get closer to God.

So you might say, "What was the point of all of this?", besides what might seem like a lot of over sharing and personal therapy. Here is the point of all of this; amidst all of our struggles God never leaves us! God LOVES us unconditionally he created us out of love not because he needed us but because we needed him.  He loves us so much he doesn't leave us....and though we may have no idea where he is going we will never be disappointed because he knows what we want before we even want it.